Sport
Don’t BOX Me In! Inside the Coach’s box of Coach Trisha Stafford-Odom
By Chris Reese
Trisha Stafford-Odom. PHOTO/dwhoops.com
Why Trish?
You see Duke/UNC betrayal. You see a black woman in a “white” environment. You see egg shells and thin ice. I don’t. I see T.S-0! Trish. I see someone that is known for putting elbow in the mouths of whoever feels like looking stupid within the setting of 94.5ft of hardwood.
I don’t “introduce” anyone simply because, if I have to do research, the best way for me to tell you about TITLE IX like awareness is to direct you there.
Trish is built just that way. She’s coach enough to coach you, but like every coach will tell anyone willing to learn, “I can teach you everything, but I don’t shoot free throws.You do.”
I will say this. Coach Odom is indeed real. Judge nothing, and test reality. At some point you’ll soon see, research is worth it when the worth has lasting value. Trish is valuable!
(See my candid interview with Trish Stafford-Odom below…)
Chris Reese: Look, you sparked the first question by being the great coach that you are. Why are haters trying to box you in with something or anything you say on Twitter?
Trisha Stafford-Odom: I guess in general the more success I’m experiencing, with the security in where I am and who I am and what university I’m working for, the more and more; I mean I got people. It sounds so……. I’m bout to make this non-professional!
TSO: The word “Hating.” It’s not that I use, have used, or will use hate or hating towards the powers that be. Do you Tweet? Do you follow me on Twitter?
CR: Coach…….. I tweet to piss off Hill Harper. Prank call like thing. And besides, what is a number? And why do I have to use it in a sentence? Watch this. Last night I used my number to …………… What is that? Why do you ask though?
TSO: It doesn’t matter. My point was……. Basically I’ve been mandated to shut down something on Twitter. Crazy stuff! Just like, “Shut up!” I was basically told to shut up on some stuff. Not because I’ve done anything illegal, but because so many coaches, Head Coaches and coaches and schools have been calling our AD and calling NCAA on me saying the areas I’ve entered into Tweeting haven’t been touched. No one says I’ve done anything illegal but because of the success and people basically saying that I’m reaching kids that they haven’t thought to Tweet. It’s so stupid! In other words they know it’s not wrong but nobody else does it so I can’t do it. And because of the success it’s like, you know how Twitter works.
TSO: So basically I found a new way to Tweet! I found some gray areas. Not that I was “finding” gray areas. What I’ve done, I knew it wasn’t illegal and everybody ridin’ my AD over nothing that’s illegal. And it’s in the books; Just stupid stuff like that. It’s all about the critics when you’re successful. When you’re losing and you’re not doing well, nobody cares. But when you start doing something that (Trish trails off)………… Now everybody in the world finding something wrong with how I’ve been doing what I do.
CR: That’s how it is.
TSO: That’s how it is.
CR: You’re walking on egg shells and thin ice in that world.
TSO: Oh yeah. Obviously that means it is flattering! In that regard, you know that. It’s flattering! And it tells me something. It’s crazy. They goin’ in on me like crazy. It’s like Trish’s Tweets are subject topic of compliance meetings. Phone records and checking all kinds of (Trish trails off once again)………… It’s bananas. If you can’t say I’ve done anything wrong, what’s the point of Boxing Me In?
CR: Something I’ve always wanted to ask you. Why do you Coach?
TSO: Why do I Coach? I do it because I think that I can affect kids. I know I can! I can have an impact on a kid in so many arenas. Not just on the court, ‘cause a lot of that time is limited; but off the court. ‘Cause kids are watching me be a woman, a mother, a wife and a Christian on the highest level. They watchin’ Trish be Trish and not succumb to being the typical Coach. So I think that impacts more people because I’m Trish. It wasn’t my goal. I didn’t set out to want to be a Coach. Matter of fact, I was pretty much, “No Sirrrr! I don’t want to Coach!” It hit me though. I’m not just impacting 18-22 year olds. I’m impacting parents. I’m on that level here because of how I impact their kids. So I guess I’m being rewarded. Ya’ know the ultimate reward is impacting the kids that results in us winning National Championships. I guess that’s the ultimate reward.
CR: With that said. I like some of what you said. “Don’t Box Me In!” I can run with that. Can that be the title?
TSO: Yeah. I love it. It does fit who I am. It takes you to pull that out. {laughs}
CR: I play with a title so much I’ll have Lhamo Dondrub thinking, “If she’s known for being one of the nastiest masters of boxing out, what if someone boxed her in?” What if Trish?
TSO: I’m gone bust out the box! That’s just it; I’ll bust out the box. Don’t get it twisted! When you thought you had me boxed in, no not really. I’m gone get out the box. Oh-oh, guess what. I’ll make the box bigger.
CR: USMC terminology here. You’re a mom, Coach, leader, worker, Internet Thug, etc. We call it Adapt and Overcome. I’ve always wanted to ask, what does that phrase mean to you? When the Left Fields of life attacks life and confused situations happen, how do you adapt and overcome those?
TSO: I think adapting and overcoming are not the same; adapting means one thing, overcoming means something different. If I adapt, I learn to live with my situation. But when I overcome, I defeat that situation I gotta live in. I knock it out da box! But I think it’s just at times when you pull out other skill sets. Skill sets that maybe I’m not as comfortable using, or those which I wouldn’t use as often. But I think I’d have to dig deep! Call out some qualities that people aren’t accustomed to seeing. And overcome……. I’m thinking. Wow, overcome?! I wasn’t prepared for………
CR: I come out the blue there Coach.
TSO: I’ll have to assess the situation. I’ll have to assess it. First of all, what are the similarities of what I think is going to happen? Then I’m gonna break it down so I’ll know if it’s actually different. Look! Chew the meat and I’m gone spit out that bone! I’m going to sift through what I could still use, and then I’mma have to creatively assess the situation and say, “Ok I’mma create another way to attack it.” Of course it takes time, a ‘lil patience and I’m gone pray my way through it. ‘Cause what I’m gone do is pray for some wisdom. I want that SUPER NATURAL Insight. I want to be better than. I want to be more than the average. So assess it. I always use what I was prepared for, and can always rely on another skill to come up with another way.
CR: I’m smashing that one!
TSO: You just make me sound good.
CR: I sung cadence for a civilian, and the look in the eyes was of one who wanted to cry. I tell you that, not because I sung cadence. I hate it, but having someone knowing that when I loved it, I did it a lot, and now they want me to do it.
I’m actually shy, until I’m comfortable. However, to make me talk is to ask about my core. Adapt and Overcome does indeed mean two different things.
T.S-O! and I can chop it up all day but even we know when to turn fun into life. Meaning, here I am about to tell the entire world what I think Adapting and Overcoming means. I HATE SINGING. I’m a somewhat ok musician. About to write a score now that will take marching band……….. My bad! Imagine being put on the spot. Having to do something for someone you barely even know and you say no. And they insist. And you, as Marines say, “Suck it up,” and do it. When I sung just a small bar of cadence to the Alabama native, I felt nothing; jolted, of course, because it’s been over a year since.
However, I, Chris Reese, felt nothing. I adapted to the territory of a little stage fright. I dont like to sing, and I didn’t want to sound horrible and shame my brothers and sisters in arms. So I adapted and did it.
Yet, what did I overcome? Is it not in every form of living that we overcome something?
Actually, right there is the overcome: The memory. The statistic implanted in my mind. The fact that I did something that will stand. Experience isn’t the overcoming: Taking those lessons, making them second nature, and having experience as your work ethic is the overcome.
They say, “You have to go through something to get to something.” Devil Dog’s say Semper Fi!
CR: That’s why I breathe!
TSO:Thank You!
CR: Here’s a funny one. Are you a football fan?
TSO: I’m a player fan; different players. But my team is the Philly Eagles.
CR: In sports, namely football, they are purposely wanting to and are taking the love and the fun from the game.
Granted, players of both genders should stop whining. There should be an all time every level rule. If you whine, you can’t celebrate.
I can’t understand why Joe Theismann’s injuries or those who come back from injuries can’t celebrate when the end zones of their respected sports are reached. If they reach an end zone, let them score. People actually do risk life and limb to do things that makes us all proud. Scoring touchdowns and being Olympians.
For instance, who are you to determine who represents something that’s way bigger than you? Goodell, Stern, you boys are killing sports. Safety? Great job! Controlling?
I actually feel that real coaches should gone fork over US$100,000 and 100 hours of team community service just so they can celebrate. Touch downs, big moments, etc. Modell left that with us. Rest easy sir.
TSO: I agree. They’re overstepping the line of sportsmanship with jubilance. There is a difference. And I think they’re trying to merge the two. Actin’ like you can’t be jubilant without being un-sportsman-like. I don’t agree with that.
CR: I don’t agree with that either. That’s what I’m saying. They’re trying to, even on lower levels……..
TSO: Yeah. My 7 year old kid got in trouble last year for something in flag football. These little children are out here strictly for fun. They’re not getting paid to do it. If they take the fun away, what am I playing for? I ain’t getting paid or any endorsements.
CR: All you have is your mother in the stands yelling and cheering!
TSO: {Laughs} Kids be trippin’! Like, “Mama, Shut Up!”
CR: And then the only person the little child is looking for when he or she scores is their mother. In a “Look Mama! You saw me just score right?” kind of way. What if they threw techs at every man, woman, boy, girl that talks noise? I got 30-33 points to drop on you right now. I GOTTA TALK! Straight Up! What do you think will happen to the game if saying, “Ha Ha! I got you!”, that means a tech?
TSO: First of all, I wouldn’t even be a fan. I would not have been as successful. I’ll say it like this. I wouldn’t have reached the heights in my basketball career if fun wasn’t implemented. Part of me as I was told and described was that I have fun. I had so much fun. So if that was taken away from me I would be bored. I wouldn’t enjoy it. That’s the bottom line. It would be completely pathetic to be honest with you. I do not know how many muscles it takes to smile but to people not named me, that smile of mine was intimidating. And to most players, intimidation is how you take it. It’s like I got mind control over you Deebo! {laughs} For real.
Even now I’m having fun just flashin’ ‘em back ya know?! Part of my thrill is seeing how my opponents receive my smile.
CR: Do you miss playing?
TSO: You ask if I miss playing? One word: Yes! I do and yet I don’t miss it. You know, I miss the competitive part of playing. My body won’t allow me to play: My knees.
Do I miss it when I was at my best? Yeah. Now? Naw! I wanna do it to aid in my Coaching. In other words, to be able to physically do it better than any of my players; I miss that and that would help me in my current situation, so I become a better listener. I miss it. But I miss it for a different reason I say.
I miss competing but now I take it to another level: I’m still competing. I just can’t talk the same kind of trash as when I’m droppin’ 25-35 in somebody’s mouth! Easy! {cracking up}.
CR: Indeed. There has to be a family moment. You know that. I tell you. It is kind of hard to come up with typical questions for the not so typical woman. Pull from me where I’m going with this. Your family: the boys, your husband, their influence…………
TSO: My family, #1 Supporter’s. That sounds corny! I mean, My 3 Dudes! I think they are the first persons I can influence. They are the first people that I coach. What I do every day, how I do it. So needless to say as competitive as I am, I don’t want to fail. I don’t want to fail them. I want to make them proud daily. Just seeing my son recently with some of the players drawing up play’s for 5 of them. He woke up like, “Ma, I want YOU to Coach me. Take me to the gym and work me out. I want YOU to show me how to be a Coach. I want YOU to take me to the gym, take me to the locker room and show me what to do.”
My husband hears this end of my coaching. The frustrations, the end of recruiting calls, phone calls with my boss. I know I’m influencing him. He sees the haters. He knows the insides of it. He sees it happening.
CR: Some things the world just does n’t need to know.
TSO: Indeed.
CR: Indeed! That being said, with the intensity of your facial expression and tone of your voice, do you ever admit that you are wrong. I can read people: Especially good people with golden hearts. Trish, you got stamped dead on your face, “I do not admit when I’m wrong.”
TSO: Wow! Thanks Chris. It’s not hard. It’s I need the proof of me being wrong. That’s the most tedious part. You have to prove to me I was wrong. I’m not just going to be content with your word against mine. My Mama from Mississippi, but always said, “I’m from Missouri: You have to show me!” I’m going to show you I was right. Break that down theoretically. Then you’ve got to show me how I was wrong. You do all that and cover all your bases; and you know what? You might’ve gotten me. You’re right. I was wrong. My bad!
CR: I had to ask that question.
TSO: I’m only wrong ‘cause you ain’t explain it right.
CR: Comedy. I don’t do this for anyone. Not even my girl Niki Avery and she has zero questions. She taps record and just goes: The Heroine Ender. Normally I dress it up. Advise the (I stop in mid-sentence)……. Nope. Not T.S-O! You tell me.
TSO: I want to say something to a group of people that people forget. And that’s all children, ladies, and minorities. I guess a lot of minorities. I would like to encourage minorities to be better than your counterpart; on every level! Because sometimes your best is not good enough. That ain’t even come out motivating Chris. Sounds a bit depressing {laughs}. I don’t want to say that. For real though, I want people to be the best! To be the best all the time; it’s just not good enough to be the best sometimes. The more you continue to be the best, the competition becomes irrelevant.
Minorities, and also I’m going to encourage Assistant Coaches. That’s a very small group. But it seems like in the big scheme of things I encourage Assistant Coaches to maintain their identity; as they represent someone else. Maintain your identity. And do not be afraid to do that. Understand it’s not going to be acceptable. It can’t be all about the logo on the polo all the time. Coaches talk to logos every day. Maintain self there. I’m UNC tough for real, but I’m Trish: Still Trish. Maintain that! It’s amazing the July Circuit: Coaches everywhere polo logo talking. Trish liable to walk up in there with a big ass V Neck White Tee and be fine simply because, we have Trish! I feel like the mass majority of people I’m in business with (trails off)…….. The crazy part is I actually have the same level of confidence wearing a V NECK WHITE TEE as when I rock the Carolina Blue. I’m serious. I’m still me. You can’t let nobody Box YOU in like that!
Chris Reese is a journalist and sports writer who will be part of the writing team at The Habari Network. He is also the founder of the Title IX Networks and his blog can be read at: http://titleixnetwork.blogspot.ca